Tom Cruisetube
🥈Expert CreatorTom Cruisetube description on YouTube:
I review cruise ships properly. Not cabin tours. Not brochure fluff. Not “everything is amazing.” If you sail from the UK — Cunard, P&O, Princess, Royal Caribbean, Ambassador, Virgin Voyages, Fred Olsen and anything else that floats past Southampton — this is where we dissect it. Main reviews. Dining breakdowns. Entertainment verdicts. Gym & Fitness deep dives. Every bar. Ten Loves / Ten Hates / Ten improvements. And the occasional cruise-culture rant that makes Hyacinth nervous. I cruise every month. I pay for it myself. I’m not for sale. I say what I actually think. New videos twice a week. If you like ships, strong opinions, and humour that occasionally alarms relatives… welcome.
We’ve analysed 87 of 96 videos so far.
Solid sample of Tom Cruisetube's catalogue — the patterns below should be reliable.
How cruise-focused are they, and how much of it have we analysed?
- 202638100%38 of 38100%38 of 38
- 20255098%49 of 50100%49 of 49
Topic-by-topic creator consensus
Every topic scored on the Trip Bacon Score — 0 to 5. More bacon, more love.
Dining
Cabins
Entertainment
Deck & Recreation
Ship & Crew
Value & Logistics
Scale: 0–5 strips in half-step increments. 0 = “meh”, 5 = “bacon bliss”. Aggregated from creator-review sentiment, weighted by channel expertise.
About our Bacon Score methodologyWho’s this ship for?
How the ship rates with different travel parties.
Seals are awarded when topics or audiences cross positive thresholds with sufficient volume.
What Creators Are Saying
Selected quotes from our creator panel.
“If it ain't, I blinking love this ship more than I love Natalie Portman or Windmills or even Red Sweets with white inside.”
“It absolutely rocks.”
“Aurora is the first ship I ever boarded, the first ship I ever loved, and the ship that I sort of blamed for one of my many poor life choices.”
“I love being on a proper ship. Stick your tail coat on and let's sip a pre-dinner Kgnc surrounded by the dark wood and brass of Anderson's.”
“It's wide, it's wooden, it's wicked.”
“John Martin is a cruise ship comedian. Now, this is not the same as an actual comedian.”
“Illuminations Plantarium 0 out of 10.”
“People are disgusting out of 10.”
“I hate the Horizon Buffet. No, actually, I hate every other guest on board.”
“He grabbed at my special place. He tried to kiss me and as I pushed him away and turned to leave, he called after me, "Please don't tell anyone."”
Pro Tips From Creators
The most-shared advice for Tom Cruisetube.
Get to the Commodore Club early if you want a seat.
Try the donuts in the Corinthia Lounge.
If you want a free coffee, head to Connections on deck 2.
Ask for more portions if you want more.
Do not book specialty dining on a sea day.
Keep your wits about you in the buffet.
Don't forget to stock up on donuts.
Book for 10:00 a.m. or later to ensure facilities are ready.
Videos (87)
8:22VlogCruiseTube… We Have A Problem! Why Are Cruise Channels Like This?
10:52ReviewCunard QM2 Bar Review 2026 - Every Venue Rated or Slated
15:55QM2 Entertainment Review 2026 - Brilliant, Boring & Very Cunard?
20:11ReviewQM2 Dining Review 2026 - The REAL Verdict And What Is Worth Your Money
8:07ReviewQM2 Thermal Suite Review – Worth £40 Or Wet Nonsense?
42:08ReviewCunard QM2 2026 Review – Can She Win Me Back?
13:45ReviewP&O Aurora – What I Love, What I Hate & Is It Worth It In 2026
6:56ReviewP&O Aurora Gym Review – Can You Stay Fit On This Tiny Ship?
8:12ReviewP&O Aurora Entertainment Review - Worth Your Time And Money?
13:45ReviewP&O Aurora Dining Review - I Ate It ALL
8:14TipsMinistry Of Cruisetube - Letters O, P, Q
24:31ReviewP&O Aurora Review: After 19 Years... I Went Back
8:07ReviewSky Princess Bar Review – Where To Spend Your Drinks Package (And Where Not To)
10:47ReviewP&O Iona: 10 Changes That Would MASSIVELY Improve This Ship
8:12ReviewTom vs Seafood Platter for TWO 🦀 | Sky Princess Crab Shack Review
17:14CompareCunard vs Ambassador: Which UK Cruise Line Is ACTUALLY Better?
13:50ReviewP&O Iona: 10 Things I Loved… & 10 Things I Hated
8:34TipsMinistry Of Cruisetube - Letters L, M, N
8:08TourEvery Bar on P&O Iona | The Best, The Worst & The Most Dangerous
8:23ReviewP&O Iona Gym Review – The Best Cruise Ship Gym I’ve Ever Seen?
19:49ReviewP&O Iona Food Review – Is the Dining Any Good? - 2026 Update
18:04ReviewIona Entertainment Review – The Bangers, The Boring & The Absolute Shhh…
30:17ReviewP&O Iona – It Got Better... Then It Got Worse! The REAL Review
8:27TipsMinistry Of Cruisetube - Letters I, J K
